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HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
17.01.04

YES!! It's 2004 at last! YEAR OF THE GARY!! Tracy here, and me and Michelle are VERY excited about this year's prospects for the Byronic Lord! Trusty Gary fans will have been listening to last year's The Day the Music Died on Radio 2 (which, in our humble opinion, deserves to win some kind of award for Best Music Entertainment Programme, if only for having Gary in it every week!) and, among various new songs that Gary showcased (including our personal favourite, The Cowboy Astronaut of Mother's Day, though Michelle liked The Chinese Ghost of Christmas a bit better), Gary got interviewed by cheeky presenter Andrew Collins every single week! It was brilliant hearing his voice every Saturday come out of our very own radios (or, in my case, a telly, since we get digital radio stations on ours, and it sounds great through the surround sound system! Imagine that! Gary's voice being all around you!! It really is brill and you should try it!!!). But attentive listeners will have noticed the SHOCK REVELATION at the end of the series that Gary has actually SACKED HIS MANAGER!! This is, for us, a bit of a BAD THING, since he was actually our conduit to Gary in the first place, and now that they have parted company, it's going to be difficult for us to have access to all the best Gary facts! BUT FEAR NOT! We are resourceful women, and we still have ways and means of getting right to the core of what's going on in Garyland!!

ITEM!! Gary will be touring the UK with his brilliant Polaroid Suitcase show, which won an award last year and which everybody (with the exception of a few stupid idiots, who ought to be culled) said was AMAZING. Now it's YOUR chance to see what everybody was raving about, whether you live in Colchester or Aberdeen, Gary will be coming to your area, to spread the word of the Neo-Regency Face Warriors! Maybe. To see if he is, go right to our Events page, which has a full list of tour dates, with phone numbers of the box offices and everything!!

ITEM!! We have it on great authority that Gary has been spending the past few weeks working on the music for his next album!! We haven't heard any of it yet of course (apart from the songs he's been doing live, like Warriors of Style and What Love Is, and the songs on his brilliant The Day the Music Died show, like Goodbye, which surely must be on the album) BUT a little bird has told us that this is his BEST STUFF YET, and, though it's hard to believe, all his new stuff makes Polaroid Suitcase look like a shallow piece of derivative rubbish!! WOW!! The new album is provisionally entitled Face Academy, and will be out in the shops around June or July! CAN WE ACTUALLY WAIT THAT LONG? Yes. We will do anything for Gary.

ITEM!! Me and Michelle got tipped off by a bloke we met in a club about a special BBC scheme that allows a special voice to UK subcultures, as part of their ongoing commitment to representing the best of what Britain has to offer, in like doing programmes about stuff that not many people know about yet. So we thought we'd send in an idea about doing a documentary about Gary and the Neo-Regency Face Warriors! We haven't heard anything back yet, but wouldn't it be great, if we could go on telly and tell the WHOLE WORLD about Gary Le Strange! We could go and interview all his past associates and we might even get an interview with THE MAN HIMSELF!! The thought of it makes me feel a bit nervous actually, but like Michelle's Dad is always saying, you don't get anywhere in life by hiding under a chair, so we're gonna GO FOR IT!! We'll keep you posted as to what happens!!

ITEM!! Well, no, that's it really. But there will be more Gary news soon! This is going to be a great year for Gary Le Strange and for everybody who likes him! We can FEEL IT IN OUR BLOOD!!

LONG LIVE GARY LE STRANGE!!


The Trace-oid xxx

AT LONG LAST! FACE ACADEMY IS NEARLY HERE!!
30.06.04

YES! WE CAN'T BELIEVE IT!! After six cold, hard months in the studio, Gary is finally about to emerge from his creative chrysalis with what will probably end up being his greatest album yet, if not THE greatest album of ALL TIME: and its name is Face Academy. From what we've heard and imagined about it, it will be up there to rival Sgt Pepper, Dark Side of the Moon, OK Computer and Pet Sounds as one of the best and most classic albums in the history of pop and rock. We haven't heard it yet, but from what we expect, it will be light years ahead of its predecessor, Polaroid Suitcase, and in fact it may even make all other albums by other modern artists look very weak and flimsy indeed! With songs like Warriors of Style, Photocopier, Seedy Pimp and The Outsider on it, it would be difficult not to imagine people fainting with shock upon their first listen. Apparently the CD is going to be on general release from July 12th, but we've been promised an advance copy, and by Golly are we going to review the hell out of it! The full track listing for the album can be found on our Discography page, with a review and hopefully some MP3 clips to follow...

EVEN BETTER THAN THAT, or at least just as good, is that Gary is going to be performing an all-new, hour-long, one-man theatrical extravaganza based on the songs from Face Academy, in which he promises to unleash a "Face War" upon the stultifying mediocrity of British culture, and more specifically on the music industry which has so far failed to acknowledge his supreme talent and put him at the top of the album charts where he belongs. There are at least seven songs in the show, and he promises OUTRAGEOUS NEW COSTUMES and SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT MAKE-UP!! It's going to be on at the Etcetera Theatre in Camden, and then at Norwich Arts Centre and at the Hen & Chicken in Bristol, all in July! And then he's going to be at the Edinburgh Fringe again all the way through August! WOW!! WHAT A SCHEDULE!! See our Events page to find a show near you!!

IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH FOR YOU, then Gary fans are in for a real treat when Gary returns to the airwaves in another new series of The Day the Music Died on BBC Radio 2! Gary is due to appear in at least half the series with, apparently, some radical reinterpretations of some of the songs from his new album, as well as one all-new bonus track that didn't make it to the final cut! We think it starts on July 15th, but we can't remember. More news about that when we get it!

THERE'S SO MUCH ELSE TO SAY, not least an explanation of why we haven't been able to update the site properly since January, but unfortunately THERE'S NO MORE TIME! Got to go!

YOU MAY NOT LIKE HIM NOW BUT YOU WILL

Yours facefully

Tracy & Michelle
xxx

ON THE THRESHOLD OF TRUE GREATNESS
25.07.04

OH OUR GOD!!  Only just over a week to go before Gary's Edinburgh run begins, and we're shaking like leaves! Having seen the previews Gary has been doing in London, Norwich and Bristol, we can safely say that this year's show is going to blow EVERYONE'S head right off! We thought Polaroid Suitcase was possibly the pinnacle of human achievement, and at the time it was, but seeing this year's show makes last year's look like a pathetic, dreary mess. How anyone can sit there and watch Gary do his new show without having either a heart attack or a religious epiphany is beyond our understanding! The songs are amazing, his costumes are amazing and the bits in between, where he explains what he's on about and invites the audience to join his Face War against mediocrity in modern society, are simply amazing. Watching this show is like watching God make the planets! And all the animals and plants too!!

We've packed our bags already and are going to be going up to Edinburgh as soon as we finish work on Saturday, so we can queue up outside his venue in a tent and be the first in when his show starts on August 4th! We've been saving up as much money as we can so that we can watch his show every single night. We haven't booked a place to stay yet, but we're sure we'll be able to find somewhere without too much trouble. The hotels can't all be full, for Gary's sake!

One thing we've got to say is, if you haven't already got your copy of Face Academy, GET IT NOW!!! Copies of the initial run are already disappearing fast, so you'd better get in there before there are severe delays!! "But why should I get it?" We hear you ask. "Isn't it just some rubbishy New Romantic stuff some weird bloke who's over 30 recorded on substandard electronic computer software in his bedroom?" Well, you may well think that, but we're telling you it's the beginning of the biggest revolution the pop world will ever have seen since the heady days of the Beatles! We wrote a review of it which got lost when our computer went berserk last week, and unfortunately we won't have time to do another one before we go away, but all we can say is, if you don't buy this album now, you are going to feel like a SCHMUCK!

Right, that's it. We won't be around in August and Michelle's laptop fell in a lake so we might not be able to reply to your e-mails over the coming month, but if you want to tell Gary how brilliant his show is, don't e-mail us! Just go to Edinburgh, turn up at his show and tell him in person! He will love you for it because HE'S SUCH A GREAT GUY!!

May the Face be with you

Tracy & Michelle
xxx

ROBBIE IN SHOCK GARY-COPYING FARCE!
17.09.04

HEY THERE, GARY FANS! It's us again, your ever-loving, never-rubbish Tracy & Michelle! First thing we have to say is that we DID make it to Edinburgh this year! No getting lost on the way, no mountainous detours and definitely no broken pelvises! We did, however, find ourselves sleeping rough for a couple of nights, when we realised that all the hotels were fully booked in the first week! This was probably a good thing because they're all too expensive anyway. Fortunately we met a group of student boys who let us stay in their flat for the rest of the fest (along with about 24 other people! Ugh! But some of them were alright). At least I (Tracy) got to sleep in my own room. It was an airing cupboard, admittedly, but Michelle had to share a bedroom with six boys and that must have been AWFUL!! I'm thankful for small mercies, and saving the money on the hotel bills meant we could spend more money on BOOZE! HURRAY!! The bars in Edinburgh stay open till about 7 in the morning and then they open again for the next day, so there's nothing to stop you drinking ALL THE TIME, which is totally weird. Many nights I got so drunk I couldn't remember anything at all, which was BRILLIANT! Consequently I can't remember much about Gary's show at all, but we did see it a few times and it must have been good.

SHOCK HORROR! Robbie Williams is about to release a single called "Radio" which undoubtedly COPIES GARY! We didn't think it sounded anything like Gary when we first heard it, because it's not as incisively clever or musically dynamic, but so many people have e-mailed us saying "Have you heard Robbie's new single? It sounds exactly like Gary Le Strange" that we have started to believe it! Even Andrew Collins (who I thought was Gary's greatest enemy after we heard them falling out on the radio, but Michelle said I didn't understand that they were just pretending) said on Roundtable on BBC 6Music that he thought Gary should sue Robbie for it!! We don't think he will though because Gary doesn't like courts.

WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO SAY? There's loads of Gary stuff coming up, which you can read about on our Events page, plus we're hoping that, after making Face Academy, which is the best album of all time, Gary will be back in his home studio making another album which will be even better! This means that he will break all previous records by making the TOP THREE ALBUMS OF ALL TIME!! A record that was only previously held by The Beatles and The Human League! COME ON, GARY! GET A PROPER RECORD DEAL THIS TIME AND RELEASE A SINGLE SO THAT EVERYONE WILL REALISE HOW BRILLIANT YOU ARE, AND WE CAN SAY WE TOLD THEM SO!! (But don't make it all commercial and rubbish like Busted and Dido and Amy Winehouse, who make us feel SICK!)

Yours Garily

Tracy & Michelle xxx

GARY IN LEMON-HURLING SHOCKER!
11.10.04

It is with great pride that we report Gary's set supporting Harry Hill at the Lush Bar in Camden on Thursday was a resounding success! Yes, it's true that the sound system broke immediately, leaving Gary to improvise to the audience for a good ten minutes before it was fixed, and it's also true (so we're reliably told) that he received a hateful e-mail full of swearing the next day from a disgruntled customer who totally misunderstood what Gary was on about. But apart from that, it was a blinding victory for our favourite Face Warrior! But then again, is it right to call Gary a Face Warrior these days? Gary says he "used to be one but thought better of it" and now thinks his music is "moving in a more glamoronic direction"… We detect another complete change of image on the way, folks! Could it be that this "glamoronic direction" has something to do with the working title of his third album, "Glamoronica"? As soon as we know we'll let you find out…

BUT… HORROR OF HORRORS!! Gary's set the following night at the Mac Bar did NOT go quite as swimmingly. We had tried to get in but unfortunately couldn't manage to get any further than the entrance, the place was so packed. But from what we could tell (so our lucky spies tell us), even if you were inside the venue, it was very difficult to hear Gary's set. The sound system broke, once again, within a minute of Gary entering the stage, and even once it got going again, it was impossible to hear! It wasn't long before a small minority started booing and shouting at Gary to "fuck off" and "tell us some jokes". Don't they realise, he's not a comedian, but a brilliant and amazing pop star? Obviously not. Then, some ten minutes into the set (while Gary was singing
Metal Boy), some complete FUCKWIT threw a lemon across the room, hitting Gary in the chest! Apparently, Gary stopped the music and had a go at whoever it was (who refused to make their identity known), and cleverly called them a twat, which rightly gave rise to massive cheers from the less blinkered members of the audience, who were, quite notably, COMPLETELY ON GARY'S SIDE. Gary then finished his set with Grey and walked off with his head held high. But NOTHING can remove the stain of what happened that night. If only me and Michelle had managed to get inside that room, we would have torn whoever it was to pieces LIKE A PACK OF WILD DOGS! DON'T THEY REALISE? THIS MAN IS GOING TO BE THE BIGGEST THING IN THE WORLD! HE'S THE BEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD!! IF ANYONE EVER DOES THAT AGAIN, ME AND MICHELLE ARE GOING TO GO ABSOLUTELY FUCKING BERSERK!! NOTHING WILL STAND OF THE WAY OF OUR UNCOMPROMISING FURY!! NOTHING!!! I do apologise, it's not like me to swear, but I've never been so insulted in my life, not even when Letitia Thompson called me a "dumpy little buck-toothed four-eyed geek". And it wasn't long before she had her head mysteriously flushed down the toilet one day, and you know what? She's never said anything like that again! NO ONE FUCKS WITH TRACY STORK!

It's a shame this has to happen. Gary only started playing at stand-up clubs as an experiment, because some close advisors had said he should try and bring his brand of culture to the masses, and that for some reason he might go down well in a comedy environment. But because of this, he's ended up having a lemon thrown at him! People either don't like him because he doesn't tell jokes, or they like him but (understandably I suppose) think he's some kind of comedian! The upshot of this is that Gary has decided he will never play stand-up clubs again. EVER. Apart from the ones he's already got booked in his diary.

BUT NEVER FEAR. A bigger and better destiny awaits...

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