LYRICS

EARLY NOTES

ALL I EVER DO

< Photocopier

All I ever do is sit in my room And think about things that I shouldn’t be really thinking All I ever do is sit in my room And fret about cancer and nuclear war and pensions Every single day, I stay in my room And wish I had mates who could phone up and take me drinking But who am I kidding? I tell you, I can’t go outside cos someone might steal my bag And even if they didn’t steal my bag I just can’t bear to be seen with my bag It’s an embarrassing bag that my Mum bought me years ago And what if I didn’t take my bag? I’d have to carry everything in my hands And that’s just completely impractical When you carry as much stuff as me All I ever do is sit in my room And watch mucky videos like a drooling old bloke Who forgot to brush his teeth and comb his hair Every now and then, I might turn on the news But Peter Sissons laughs at me And George Alagiah takes the piss out of my shoes Sometimes I wonder what it’s like out there In the fresh clean air Where the kiddies laugh and play But the terrorists and rapists put me off And besides, I’ve forgotten how to walk And the rain will flatten my hair And the sunshine will burn off my skin The snow is too slippy and cold And the hail is too harsh And the grey clouds are all just depressing It’s probably best if I sit in a crap wooden chair Reading books that I’ve already read I wish I could cry But I’m a big boy now And the Government are watching me on cameras like in the Truman Show So maybe I’ll stay in my room You won’t get me out of my room You won’t get me out of my room Maybe Maybe I’ll go out one time Maybe I’ll stay here Maybe I’ll stay at home

Michael the Swan >