English 2 kicks off with a trio of disappointing factual pieces written over two days, towards
the end of my second term. None of them were my idea, and it shows. This first one,
Ceremonies, is actually inspired by watching the BBC Schools Programme Merry-Go-Round -
something I only realised just now by looking it up on the BBC Programme Index.
Occasionally we were asked to watch it and write about the programme afterwards. Clearly, I
hated doing this and would much rather have written about robots blowing each other to
bits. But unlike the last time this happened, this time I’ve learned a new skill to make it
slightly more bearable. This time, I’ve added jokes.
Obviously, the jokes are as lame as lame can be. My first attempt is about two people you
don’t know - Helen and Elizabeth Easter, who lived next door to me at 3 School Terrace - so it
hasn’t a hope of translating beyond a Fairburn audience. But even then, I doubt they’d have
laughed. Then I suggest that Easter is a time when “hens lay lots of eggs” - something I knew
wasn’t true, but it’s not funny either. And finally we get to the bit about pancakes, which I
reliably inform you are called that “because they are cakes made in a pan.” At which point
you know I was basically very bored and just trying to find some way of making it through
the day. I don’t know if I was encouraged to write this way, but I got a tick at the end so it
definitely wasn’t frowned on. Which is presumably why I kept on doing it.
The mention of pancake races at the end makes me think we might have actually done some
pancake races that year on the village cricket/football field. I do vaguely remember us doing
things like that. But it could just as easily have been a detail from Merry-Go-Round. Other
than that, this is a totally unremarkable piece of writing.
TERM 2
The birth of the 1980s -
Blake’s 7, Blondie and
battles in space
Apeth
Badly-spelt high-jinks
with a purple gorilla
from outer space!
Ceremonies
Ceremonies
For Sale
School Rules
Football
The Micronauts: The Return of Supersilver
Apeth (frum Ota Sbees)
Exploring the Underworld
When I Was Happiest
Plant Description
The Money Shop: Part 1
The Money Shop: Part 2
Moses and the Pharaoh
Ideas for Sports
The Money Shop: Part 3
Watch: Cocoa
The Horrible Black Friday
Waen Shepherd’s Run
I Do Not Like…
My Wellington Boots
I Am John McEnroe
Police Horses
My Name is Alice
Captain Kremmen: The Cat Soldiers
Andrew’s Body Area
Star Wars: Revenge of the Jedi
Summer
Scaredy Cat Goes to the Dentist’s
Judge Dredd: The Shape Changers
Apeth Returns
The Phantom Strikes Again
Grate Rubbing
Starkiller
Captain Shepherd
The Origin of Tomato Man
Copy Writing & Exercises
Happy Easter!
A home made Easter
card I made for my
Mum and Dad
The Forgotten World
John and Mick fall foul
of some extreme
potholing
TOPIC 2
The one where it all
kicks off
TERM 2
The birth of the 1980s -
Blake’s 7, Blondie and
battles in space
The Flame in the
Desert
An evil fire threatens
the safety of the world
Apeth
Badly-spelt high-jinks
with a purple gorilla
from outer space!
Captain Carnivore
Gary Shepherd is
hunted down by a
deadly flying meteor
Ceremonies
English 2 kicks off with a trio of disappointing factual
pieces written over two days, towards the end of my
second term. None of them were my idea, and it
shows. This first one, Ceremonies, is actually inspired
by watching the BBC Schools Programme Merry-Go-
Round - something I only realised just now by looking
it up on the BBC Programme Index. Occasionally we
were asked to watch it and write about the
programme afterwards. Clearly, I hated doing this and
would much rather have written about robots blowing
each other to bits. But unlike the last time this
happened, this time I’ve learned a new skill to make it
slightly more bearable. This time, I’ve added jokes.
Obviously, the jokes are as lame as lame can be. My
first attempt is about two people you don’t know -
Helen and Elizabeth Easter, who lived next door to me
at 3 School Terrace - so it hasn’t a hope of translating
beyond a Fairburn audience. But even then, I doubt
they’d have laughed. Then I suggest that Easter is a
time when “hens lay lots of eggs” - something I knew
wasn’t true, but it’s not funny either. And finally we
get to the bit about pancakes, which I reliably inform
you are called that “because they are cakes made in a
pan.” At which point you know I was basically very
bored and just trying to find some way of making it
through the day. I don’t know if I was encouraged to
write this way, but I got a tick at the end so it
definitely wasn’t frowned on. Which is presumably
why I kept on doing it.
The mention of pancake races at the end makes me
think we might have actually done some pancake
races that year on the village cricket/football field. I do
vaguely remember us doing things like that. But it
could just as easily have been a detail from Merry-Go-
Round. Other than that, this is a totally unremarkable
piece of writing.
Optical Illusion Time
Amazing visual tricks
that will boggle your
mind!