Monday September 3rd
My first day at a new school. I’ve only been there five
minutes and barely had time to say hello to anyone
before we are whisked into a minibus and driven to
Sherburn High School, where the nearest swimming
baths are. Mum has provided me with a towel and a
pair of swimming trunks which I have neatly tucked
up in my Bristol City bag. The other kids eye me
suspiciously and ask why I support Bristol City
rather than Leeds United. I tell them I don’t support
Bristol City and only got the bag because it was red,
and red is my favourite colour. They think that’s
weird. On the bus, I sit next to a boy called Andrew
Wall, who asks me what I do like if I don’t like Bristol
City. I tell him I like space and he replies, “Yeah, I like
space an’ all.” It turns out he likes Star Wars and
Doctor Who, just like me. He’s also got blonde hair
and blue eyes, just like me. Perhaps he could
actually be me, except he’s much more comfortable
being here than I am. Just at the point where I think I
might have made a friend, the minibus arrives at
Sherburn Baths and the nightmare begins.
Although I am nearly eight years old, I still cannot
swim. Perhaps if I’d listened to Rolf Harris, I would
have had a much better time, but this is the first
time I have ever been swimming in my life and it
terrifies me. In the changing room, I face away from
the other children while changing - I’ve never taken
my underpants off in front of a room full of strange
boys before and it feels really unpleasant. They all
start to laugh and tease me: “What’s up wi’ yer? Are
yer shy?” I try to tell them I’m not shy but my
gleaming red face says otherwise. Somehow I
manage to get my new trunks on - they are white
with abstract red and blue patterns, and a waist
cord which I tie extra-tight in the hope they will not
fall down. Then we are led through a pool of
disinfectant to an enormous swimming pool which
echoes and squeaks and stinks of chlorine. Once it is
discovered that I’m not lying, that I really honestly
can’t swim and am in danger of drowning even at
the shallow end, they let me go and splash about in
the little pool with the infants. This is not cool, but at
least I’m not drowning.
Finally the whistle blows and we are led back to the
changing room, whereupon I discover that my
waterlogged trunks are impossible to remove. I
seem to have tied a triple knot into the waist cord
and my feeble fingers can’t undo it. The other kids
are dressed already and I don’t know what to do, so
like a good boy I ask the teacher for assistance. My
earliest memory of this guy is of him undoing the
knot on my trunks and unleashing an angry tirade
into my face, about how I am clearly going to be
trouble: “You’ve only been here five minutes and
already it’s ‘Mr Geraghty, I’m too shy to get changed!
Mr Geraghty, I can’t swim! Mr Geraghty, I can’t get
my trunks off!’” Which can’t have been true because
I didn’t know his name till he said it just then. My
humiliation complete, Mr Geraghty manages to
undo the knot and I get changed before we all pile
back into the minibus and drive back to school.
Monday September 3rd -
Sunday September 9th, 1979
TERM 1: Week 1
Wednesday September
5th
Louis Mountbatten’s funeral
is held at Westminster
Abbey.
•
BBC News coverage (full
programme)
•
More film footage
•
Even more footage (but
this time without sound)
•
Retrospective
dramatisation (from The
Crown)
Other headlines on BBC
News this day:
TUC vote not to stage
mass protests against
the Government’s
economic policies
Rolf Schild, the British
businessman, is
released from
captivity in Sardinia,
but says his
kidnappers want
£11m ransom for his
wife and daughter
6.45pm: Series 5 of Angels
begins (till Dec 17). Can’t
find this episode online, but
here’s a clip from the very
first episode in 1975, and
here’s the title sequence,
featuring a strong
contender for best TV
theme tune of all time.
After the morning break, we finally end up in the
classroom, where I am formally introduced to the
class and given my own seat. This being a village
school with relatively few pupils, the juniors (7-11
year olds or, in modern terms, Years 3-6) are all
taught in one classroom, each year group on a
separate table. Having done three years at infant
school already, I know very well that I should be
sitting with the first years, but for some reason Mr
Geraghty puts me on the second year table. I
protest that he’s got it wrong, but he just reiterates
how much trouble I am and tells me to “sit there for
now”. In retrospect, I realise this was an early
attempt to bump me up a year. My reputation
obviously preceded me - my reading and writing
skills were at a higher standard than most kids my
age and my parents definitely wanted me to move
up to the second year. But I just thought Mr
Geraghty was an idiot and, what’s more, it was
embarrassing. Being the shy, clumsy, Bristol City
bag-carrying new boy was bad enough, without
everyone thinking I was getting preferential
treatment. I sat at the second year table for several
days before it was discovered that, although my
reading skills were top notch, I didn’t have the
mathematical knowledge to match. So I got moved
back to the first year table after all, to my immense
relief.
Thursday September 6th
Alien released in UK cinemas, according to this site.
This week’s Smash Hits Fortnightly features The
Specials on its front cover. An exception to the ‘one
week ahead’ rule of comic and magazine dating, it
specifies the range of dates it’s supposed to be
available for. It’s essentially a lyric mag full of words
to your favourite pop songs, with the occasional
feature (David Hepworth writes enthusiastically
about The B-52s), bits of news (Jimmy Pursey and
The Sex Pistols have apparently discovered they are
not compatible, either as artists or as people, putting
paid to the idea that he might join as lead singer) and
a bunch of record reviews I can’t quite believe. Yellow
Magic Orchestra’s brilliant debut album (released a
year prior, but never mind) is described as “a
mindless hotchpotch without a single memorable
moment,” while Talking Heads’ adventurous Fear of
Music is accused of “ploughing a disappointing
musical rut.” Joy Division’s universally-loved Unknown
Pleasures (released back in June) gets a slightly
better write-up as “a grower and a goodie but don’t
expect too much.”
Friday September 7th
BBC 1 shows this trailer for The Generation Game.
Top of the Pops - a regular TV fixture, every Thursday
evening on BBC 1. Highlights this week include The
Crusaders, Racey and Legs & Co dancing with giant
teddy bears. You can currently watch the full
programme here.
Star Wars Weekly No 81 - features an ad on the back
for Trebor sweets, which doubles as a competition to
win two tickets to the 1980 Moscow Olympics. You
only need to buy twenty Black Jacks to win a gold
medal! I keep looking for the smallprint that says it’s
not real gold. But there isn’t any, so it must be real
gold.
TERM 1 IN LINK FORM
Something
Else
Sep 15, 1979
Visage release their first single, Tar, on Radar
Records. Although the term hasn’t been coined yet,
this is arguably the first New Romantic record. It
doesn’t chart, but the band will be back next year
with a much more enduring piece of work. You can
listen to Tar here.