LYRICS

RODNEY NORMAL

He wakes up on a Monday morning He combs his teeth and lets the dog in He feeds the pigeons in the pub He says “Gaw Bennett” and “Rub a duck” “Allo, Mrs Jones! How’s yer Mum? She alright, is she? Yer Mum? Yer Mum? Yer Mum? Yer Mum?” He drives to work on a Union Jack He works all day long and then he comes back Two point four balls and a cricket bat He looks a bit like David Hockney He curses in his native mockney “Clear off, you lot! Bugger off, you whelks!” Salutes a picture of the throne Then calls his beak on the rag and bone “Wotcher, Harry! Comin’ down the pub? The pub? The pub? With yer Mum?” He has a kip at a quarter to three A battered scone and a fried cup of tea Chim chim cheroo chim a chimeney Milk on Cigarettes with milk on ‘Ullo John, how’s your Mum? Is she still in hospital? He buys his clobber at the cop shop He wears a smelly Tommy Tank top He stoops to read a mucky book It’s quite a good one – let’s have a look! “How’s yer father, then? Eh? Know what I mean? How’s yer father? And yer Mum.” His Grandad fought in the Evelyn Waugh Two fluffy dice on the lavatory door He writes umbrellas to Channel 4 Bees on Bowler hats with bees on Warm cheese and cabbages Lager pie and mackerels Wheels on Brigadiers with wheels on Stonehenge and radishes Morris-dancing cockerels Smells on Berkshire Hunts with smells on Raw tripe and thra’pennies Better tuck your manners in Bells on Eartha Kitts with bells on Now pull the other one It’s got nuts and spanners in Rodney Normal Rodney Normal Rodney Normal Rodney Normal

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