Only two pages ago I declared that the rest of this book is a lazy, haphazard mess, but I already have to backtrack, because this is actually probably the best idea in Topic 2, or at least the most impressively executed. Continuing the theme that, whenever Grobschnitt appears, there must be some mischief afoot, suddenly this time round we suffer what he calls a “First letters shortage”, in which all the first letters of each word go missing. There’s no explanation for it - it just happens - but it does allow him to once again attempt to do surreptitious harm to the reader. He also seems to take some delight in telling the reader all about it - almost like it’s part of some weird Grobschnitt code of honour: he has to tell the reader what harm he’s going to do to them, but is still allowed to disguise it in some way. And then, in the midst of all this, we’re treated to a snapshot of the superhero version of Grobschnitt, who’s called ‘Grobschnitt Man’ (so no prizes for guessing his secret identity). He responds to “the Grobschnitt Signal” being shone in the sky and appears to be accompanied on his adventures by a feline sidekick called Catmeat. Sadly, it’s the last we’ll ever see of him, but Grobschnitt will be back before you know it.
Robschnitt's Age
May 1980
TERM 3 1980 continues with the embassy siege and The Empire Strikes Back
robschnitt’s age
The Human Maze Meet Whirlwind, the man whose face is an impossible maze!
A Translation (with all the first letters restored) GROBSCHNITT’S PAGE Hello, this is Grobschnitt again. I’m sorry about the first letters shortage. We will not be able to bring you them till next century. I hope you will not have read this book by then. If you have, I’ll wipe out your memory at your house. Then you will not know who you are and what you’re doing. Bye bye. Yours sincerely, GROBSCHNITT “Look! It’s the Grobschnitt Signal!” VROOM! GROBSCHNITT MAN (and Catmeat!)
Grobschnitt’s Page Meet Grobschnitt, the dome-headed Harbinger of Mischief
Super Jesus A special pin-up of your favourite Nazarene webslinger
Grobschnitt’s Page Meet Grobschnitt, the dome-headed Harbinger of Mischief
Apeth (from Ota Sbees) Ritern ov thu perpal geriller
Exploring the Underworld Eight boys go exploring in a dangerous cave
TERM 3 1980 continues with the embassy siege and The Empire Strikes Back
Lazer Lash An exciting criminal spy adventure in a world made of lasers!
Woman Line Which of these five squiggly lines leads to the woman?
May 1980
robschnitt’s age
Robschnitt's Age
Only two pages ago I declared that the rest of this book is a lazy, haphazard mess, but I already have to backtrack, because this is actually probably the best idea in Topic 2, or at least the most impressively executed. Continuing the theme that, whenever Grobschnitt appears, there must be some mischief afoot, suddenly this time round we suffer what he calls a “First letters shortage”, in which all the first letters of each word go missing. There’s no explanation for it - it just happens - but it does allow him to once again attempt to do surreptitious harm to the reader. He also seems to take some delight in telling the reader all about it - almost like it’s part of some weird Grobschnitt code of honour: he has to tell the reader what harm he’s going to do to them, but is still allowed to disguise it in some way. And then, in the midst of all this, we’re treated to a snapshot of the superhero version of Grobschnitt, who’s called ‘Grobschnitt Man’ (so no prizes for guessing his secret identity). He responds to “the Grobschnitt Signal” being shone in the sky and appears to be accompanied on his adventures by a feline sidekick called Catmeat. Sadly, it’s the last we’ll ever see of him, but Grobschnitt will be back before you know it.
A Translation (with all the first letters restored) GROBSCHNITT’S PAGE Hello, this is Grobschnitt again. I’m sorry about the first letters shortage. We will not be able to bring you them till next century. I hope you will not have read this book by then. If you have, I’ll wipe out your memory at your house. Then you will not know who you are and what you’re doing. Bye bye. Yours sincerely, GROBSCHNITT “Look! It’s the Grobschnitt Signal!” VROOM! GROBSCHNITT MAN (and Catmeat!)
THE GHOUL  ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK Available now exclusively on Bandcamp