Usually, when I think about myself as a boy, I tend to think of him as a completely different person to me. I’m just some random middle-aged bloke who inherited his memories. And his schoolbooks. But when I look at these books, I find I very rarely have any direct memories of writing them. Most of the things I say about them are things I’m extrapolating from what’s on the page. This is a rare occasion when I do actually have a memory. It’s vague but it’s painful, so it must be real. You might have noticed there’s a woman in the picture. The title at the top even says “Which line leads to the woman?” You might also have noticed I don’t normally draw women. Most of my pictures so far have been of men in superhero costumes or bizarre creatures with weird crazy faces. I don’t remember why I chose to draw a woman this particular day. Maybe I realised I hadn’t tried to do it before. Maybe I just wanted to shake things up a bit, add a bit of variety to my stupid, unsolvable puzzles. But whatever the reason, I do remember regretting the decision. I just found it so insanely difficult. It was the breasts. I was eight years old and I’d never drawn breasts before. I’m not sure I’d even thought about breasts before. But here I was, drawing a woman and suddenly realising that if I wanted to do it properly, I’d have to draw some breasts. And even though no one knew about this but me, it was so, so deeply embarrassing. I hesitated, wondering if maybe I could get away with not drawing any breasts - you can even see the line if you look, where I almost drew her completely flat-chested - but in the end I took a big gulp and had a go. She was in profile so it was only really one breast anyway. And, having got through it, I made a vow never to attempt to draw a woman again until I was really, truly ready. Consequently, this is one of only a handful of pictures of women in any of my Fairburn books. They’re slightly more plentiful later on, but only after I realised I could draw stylised cartoon women without breasts and no one would judge me harshly for it. Bizarrely, the puzzle itself is a weird kind of metaphor for the struggle I was going through. Which line leads to the woman? Well, one of them’s clearly supposed to, but God knows which one it is, so I may as well not bother. If I’d been a teenager, this would be a cute, almost profound commentary on puberty and/or sexual frustration. But I was eight and had no interest in girls whatsoever, so it’s just rubbish. OK, OK, I’ll be less harsh on myself. I do remember something else. I remember I was excited about this page, because I was absolutely damn certain I’d invented a completely new type of puzzle. Just like a maze, but with lines instead of corridors, which made it easier to draw and gave us a much crazier picture - like a massive scribble, but with purpose. I’d tried a small version a couple of pages ago and now it was time to test out a big one. And then I did it. And I saw that it was bad. And I never did another one again.
Dinosaurs 1 Space Travel Ships Sport Dinosaurs 2 Judge Dredd: The Blood of Satanus Captain Carnivore A-Maze-Ing! Star Poster: Super Jesus The Micronauts: Giant Karza The Origin of Electro Optical Illusion Time Frantic Thingies Men in Space Topic Book Word Find Puzzleman Evel Knievel: Fury Falls More Puzzlers Star Poster: The Hulk 1 Grobschnitt’s Page Captain Starlight Star Poster: The Hulk 2 The Yellyog Gang The Adventures of Puzzlemaster Jupe Woman Line Pin-Up: Doctor Doom Lazer Lash The Human Maze Three Squares Raven Mad Marvel Sketches Robschnitt’s Age: 1 Snotty Notty Space Battles Metalorian Man Robschnitt’s Age: 2 The Superhero Sports Day Captain Kirk & Pywal Carbo-Catalogue How Dumb Are You? The Space Invaders: 1 Pin-Up: The Empire Strikes Back The Space Invaders: 2 Gi-Gant-Ic! Index
Which line leads to the woman?
April/May 1980
HELP ME KEEP THIS WEBSITE ALIVE
Grobschnitt’s Page Meet Grobschnitt, the dome-headed Harbinger of Mischief
Exploring the Underworld Eight boys go exploring in a dangerous cave
TERM 3 1980 continues with the embassy siege and The Empire Strikes Back
More Puzzlers A trio of ‘Make You Very Crosswords’ to make you slightly cross
Optical Illusion Time Amazing visual tricks that will boggle your mind!
Woman Line
Lazer Lash An exciting criminal spy adventure in a world made of lasers!
Florence Nightingale What if Florence Nightingale had lived in the Year 2000?
Super Jesus A special pin-up of your favourite Nazarene webslinger
HELP ME KEEP THIS WEBSITE ALIVE
Grobschnitt’s Page Meet Grobschnitt, the dome-headed Harbinger of Mischief
Apeth (from Ota Sbees) Ritern ov thu perpal geriller
Exploring the Underworld Eight boys go exploring in a dangerous cave
TERM 3 1980 continues with the embassy siege and The Empire Strikes Back
April/May 1980
Woman Line
Which line leads to the woman?
Usually, when I think about myself as a boy, I tend to think of him as a completely different person to me. I’m just some random middle-aged bloke who inherited his memories. And his schoolbooks. But when I look at these books, I find I very rarely have any direct memories of writing them. Most of the things I say about them are things I’m extrapolating from what’s on the page. This is a rare occasion when I do actually have a memory. It’s vague but it’s painful, so it must be real. You might have noticed there’s a woman in the picture. The title at the top even says “Which line leads to the woman?” You might also have noticed I don’t normally draw women. Most of my pictures so far have been of men in superhero costumes or bizarre creatures with weird crazy faces. I don’t remember why I chose to draw a woman this particular day. Maybe I realised I hadn’t tried to do it before. Maybe I just wanted to shake things up a bit, add a bit of variety to my stupid, unsolvable puzzles. But whatever the reason, I do remember regretting the decision. I just found it so insanely difficult. It was the breasts. I was eight years old and I’d never drawn breasts before. I’m not sure I’d even thought about breasts before. But here I was, drawing a woman and suddenly realising that if I wanted to do it properly, I’d have to draw some breasts. And even though no one knew about this but me, it was so, so deeply embarrassing. I hesitated, wondering if maybe I could get away with not drawing any breasts - you can even see the line if you look, where I almost drew her completely flat-chested - but in the end I took a big gulp and had a go. She was in profile so it was only really one breast anyway. And, having got through it, I made a vow never to attempt to draw a woman again until I was really, truly ready. Consequently, this is one of only a handful of pictures of women in any of my Fairburn books. They’re slightly more plentiful later on, but only after I realised I could draw stylised cartoon women without breasts and no one would judge me harshly for it. Bizarrely, the puzzle itself is a weird kind of metaphor for the struggle I was going through. Which line leads to the woman? Well, one of them’s clearly supposed to, but God knows which one it is, so I may as well not bother. If I’d been a teenager, this would be a cute, almost profound commentary on puberty and/or sexual frustration. But I was eight and had no interest in girls whatsoever, so it’s just rubbish. OK, OK, I’ll be less harsh on myself. I do remember something else. I remember I was excited about this page, because I was absolutely damn certain I’d invented a completely new type of puzzle. Just like a maze, but with lines instead of corridors, which made it easier to draw and gave us a much crazier picture - like a massive scribble, but with purpose. I’d tried a small version a couple of pages ago and now it was time to test out a big one. And then I did it. And I saw that it was bad. And I never did another one again.
Lazer Lash An exciting criminal spy adventure in a world made of lasers!