Lazer Lash is the fourth or fifth comic strip in this book (depending on which ones you count) and probably the stupidest. It appears to take place in a futuristic world where everyone has the word ‘laser’ at the beginning of their name - not sure exactly whether it’s a title like ‘Doctor’ or a descriptor like ‘Little Red’ Riding Hood - but they’re not all necessarily on the same side. They also can’t spell ‘laser’ properly - or rather, they could spell laser properly for half a page, then changed their minds and retconned it with a Z. Like Supersilver, Electro and Giant Karza before him, our hero isn’t a hero at all, but a villain. He starts off by killing a man in the street for a reason we’re not party to. His boss, Laser Jim 5 (who you can tell is evil because he’s bald and wears an eyepatch), congratulates him on his good work, suggesting some kind of cold-war-style espionage scenario, but within moments Lazer Lash is being chased by the cops, which might mean they’re just criminals. He’s also, apparently, not human. Lazer Jim 5, Laser John One and the Laser Cops all appear to be people as we’d normally understand them, but Lazer Lash is different. His name tells me he’s probably made out of pure laser, but I might not have had a clear grasp of what a laser is. From the look of him (and the fact that he gives the Laser Cop an electric shock), I’d say he’s more likely to be made of pure electricity. But he can also shoot lethal lasers out of his eye (only one eye, mind - his laser eye) and, bizarrely, being hit by a laser beam makes him explode. These definitely aren’t the same lasers that read DVDs or correct your eyesight. There’s a question mark at the end, as if to suggest the story might not quite be over. But let me reassure you, it absolutely is. I never returned to this world, which is a shame because I’d really love to have met some of the other Lazer Jims and find out if they’re just as rubbish as this one. But I can live with that. THE END?
April/May, 1980
Dinosaurs 1 Space Travel Ships Sport Dinosaurs 2 Judge Dredd: The Blood of Satanus Captain Carnivore A-Maze-Ing! Star Poster: Super Jesus The Micronauts: Giant Karza The Origin of Electro Optical Illusion Time Frantic Thingies Men in Space Topic Book Word Find Puzzleman Evel Knievel: Fury Falls More Puzzlers Star Poster: The Hulk 1 Grobschnitt’s Page Captain Starlight Star Poster: The Hulk 2 The Yellyog Gang The Adventures of Puzzlemaster Jupe Woman Line Pin-Up: Doctor Doom Lazer Lash The Human Maze Three Squares Raven Mad Marvel Sketches Robschnitt’s Age: 1 Snotty Notty Space Battles Metalorian Man Robschnitt’s Age: 2 The Superhero Sports Day Captain Kirk & Pywal Carbo-Catalogue How Dumb Are You? The Space Invaders: 1 Pin-Up: The Empire Strikes Back The Space Invaders: 2 Gi-Gant-Ic! Index
Lazer Lash
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Woman Line Which of these five squiggly lines leads to the woman?
Captain Carnivore Gary Shepherd is hunted down by a deadly flying meteor
TOPIC 1 He knows the names of all the dinosaurs
Waen Shepherd 2 Waen’s heroic antics in the far-flung future of 2007 AD!
Lazer Lash
April/May, 1980
Fiends of the Eastern Front Vampires, paraphrased from 2000 AD
Tedosaurus Prehistoric fun with a teddy bear the size of a dinosaur!
Super Jesus A special pin-up of your favourite Nazarene webslinger
HELP ME KEEP THIS WEBSITE ALIVE
Lazer Lash is the fourth or fifth comic strip in this book (depending on which ones you count) and probably the stupidest. It appears to take place in a futuristic world where everyone has the word ‘laser’ at the beginning of their name - not sure exactly whether it’s a title like ‘Doctor’ or a descriptor like ‘Little Red’ Riding Hood - but they’re not all necessarily on the same side. They also can’t spell ‘laser’ properly - or rather, they could spell laser properly for half a page, then changed their minds and retconned it with a Z. Like Supersilver, Electro and Giant Karza before him, our hero isn’t a hero at all, but a villain. He starts off by killing a man in the street for a reason we’re not party to. His boss, Laser Jim 5 (who you can tell is evil because he’s bald and wears an eyepatch), congratulates him on his good work, suggesting some kind of cold-war-style espionage scenario, but within moments Lazer Lash is being chased by the cops, which might mean they’re just criminals. He’s also, apparently, not human. Lazer Jim 5, Laser John One and the Laser Cops all appear to be people as we’d normally understand them, but Lazer Lash is different. His name tells me he’s probably made out of pure laser, but I might not have had a clear grasp of what a laser is. From the look of him (and the fact that he gives the Laser Cop an electric shock), I’d say he’s more likely to be made of pure electricity. But he can also shoot lethal lasers out of his eye (only one eye, mind - his laser eye) and, bizarrely, being hit by a laser beam makes him explode. These definitely aren’t the same lasers that read DVDs or correct your eyesight. There’s a question mark at the end, as if to suggest the story might not quite be over. But let me reassure you, it absolutely is. I never returned to this world, which is a shame because I’d really love to have met some of the other Lazer Jims and find out if they’re just as rubbish as this one. But I can live with that. THE END?
Woman Line Which of these five squiggly lines leads to the woman?