LYRICS

OIL ON MARS?

There’s a white man on the pavement Sobbing deeply in despair And a black girl in the gutter With syringes in her hair And a green and purple baby Looking meaningfully at the open skies There’s a yellow bloke in Tesco Licking breadcrumbs off a shelf And a brownish-coloured lady Wittering on about her health But the green and purple baby merely Sits there in his pushchair looking wise I sidle up to ask him what’s on everybody’s lips The one thing that can save us From global apocalypse I approach the green and purple baby Grab him by the cheeks and ask him this: Is there oil on Mars? I wanna know But the green and purple baby Won’t say yes or no or maybe And I wish that he would say I wish that he would say But he just sits there dribbling And blowing spitty bubbles in my face I tell him that’s not good enough And he just starts to scream His Mum comes up to comfort him And turns to look at me Then she glares at me quite angrily and Asks me what the hell I think I'm playing at I tell her he’s a Martian And she backs off looking scared She says he’s only green Because she took him to the fair And spins me some bloody twaddle 'bout some bloke painting his face green For the purpose of amusement And that doesn't wash She says I’d better go Cos I’ve got the wrong end of the stick I say “I’ll give him the wrong end of a stick If he doesn’t tell me what I wanna know” Then she calls for the police And they arrested me and now I am in jail Is there oil on Mars? I dunno Cos the green and purple baby Won’t say yes or no or maybe And I wish that he would say I wish that he would say But cos of the injunction I will never know It could go either way One of these days, gonna build a rocket In my back yard from bean tins and string Gonna fill it full of coke and catwalk models And fly us all off to Mars Gonna build myself an oil rig On the crimson Martian soil Then I'll whip them models off to work Drillin' on down for oil There'd better be some or I'm gonna kick off If there isn't any oil, I'll be really cheesed off Is there oil on Mars? I dunno Cos the green and purple baby Won’t say yes or no or maybe And I wish that he would say I wish that he would say Cos if there isn’t Everything will crumble into ashes And the fabric of society Will frazzle into nothingness And all the plants will wilt and die And everything that feasts on them Will have to eat each other Cos there's nothing else that they can feast on And cows will fall into the sea And blood will drizzle from the sky And rats will crawl into your mouth And do their business in your head As flies lay maggots in your eyes Which transform into butterflies But not nice ones with pretty wings These are blood-sucking parasites With human heads But not nice human heads That sing songs and tell jokes These are like horrid politicians Who like vomiting and biting Chunks out of your breasts and cheeks And pissing fire across the land And smacking you with great big planks Until you sink into the sand And everyone will lose their minds And run around like headless berks Screaming and soiling themselves And shouting “Fucking hell, what’s happening?” And I'll just sit and scoff And tell you that I told you so You stupid narcissistic knobs You should have listened! And as for that bloody baby Well, I hope you're pleased with yourself If only you'd told me Whether or not there was oil on Mars When it still mattered All this could have been avoided There! There it goes The death of the world And it's all your fault I hope you're satisfied You little shit

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