LYRICS

PERV BEAT

I want to stare at a soldier’s willy Down on Old McDonald’s Farm I want to smother my private bits In TCP and Tiger Balm I want to hammer a nine inch hobnail Through a naughty nurse's balls I want to suck on a bumboy's pants While tumbling down Niagara Falls And if you're feeling depressed You better get undressed And jump in a taxi And come on over to me We can dance until dawn To the rhythm of electronic porn Dancing to the perv beat, perv beat Pumping to a different rhyme Romancing to the perv beat, perv beat Look, it’s nearly sex o’ clock And that’s bumming time I want to do an erotic pee-pee On a dirty bugger's back I want to spit on a schoolboy's head In Granny's fishy rubber Mac I want to wade in the filthy juices Of a twenty-titted whore I want to funnel things up myself Till myself can't feel me no more And if you phone the police I'll wallop you in the teeth And tie you to a tree Until you say sorry And pull me off on a hill Until I'm delirious with sexy thrills Dancing to the perv beat, perv beat Humping to a different tune Prancing to the perv beat, perv beat Look, it's twenty five to cock We'll be frotting soon Every single waking hour of every single day All I do is perv about in every single way It doesn't matter what you say To take it off my mind I'd only twist it round So I could do it from behind Cos sex is better than a bowl Of diamonds and champagne Or fifty million pounds' worth Of Peruvian cocaine You could introduce me to the angels In the starry skies But if I saw an angel now I'd fuck it till it dies Perv beat, perv beat, perv beat Perv beat, perv beat, perv beat Ooh, you naughty bastard Do you wanna be my slave? Go on Go down the shop and get us a box of fags Ere - you can get me a bag of Monster Munch While you're at it Yeah, pickled onion flavour Not Flamin' Hot flavour If you get me Flamin' Hot flavour I'll kick you in the bollocks Yeah, that's right - I said ‘Bollocks’ BOLLOCKS I can say worse things than that if I want KNOBHEAD Yeah, that's right Get down the bollocking shop, you knobhead Do you want punishing? I'll punish anything, man or beast I prefer punishing beasts though If I'm to be honest Oh yeah - I love to punch a llama in the throat Or a crocodile 'Ere! Have you ever kicked a crocodile in the nuts? Dancing to the perv beat, perv beat Spanking to a different drum Sperm banking to the perv beat, perv beat Man, I want to wank you up Till you're deaf and dumb Perv beat, perv beat Bonking to a different groove Mad monking to the perv beat, perv beat Watch my sexy hips gyrate And my knackers move Perv beat, perv beat Humping to a different tune Prancing to the perv beat, perv beat Look, it's twenty five to cock We'll be frotting soon Perv beat, perv beat Pumping to a different rhyme Romancing to the perv beat, perv beat Look, it’s nearly sex o’ clock And that’s bumming time

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