Zebbedy Zeb, Zebbedy Zonster The second piece of fiction in my first English book is probably one of those occasions when we were told as a class to sit down and write a story about Halloween. The date is incorrectly given as Tuesday 31st October , which didn’t happen in 1979 - it’s either Tuesday 30th or Wednesday 31st - but the witchy subject matter makes me think we’d been talking about Halloween in class and then told to write about it. That sort of thing did happen. Given the opportunity to write a horror story, I obviously grabbed it with both hands. Witches weren’t really my kind of thing, but by the end of the first page, it’s turned into the most exciting action-adventure blockbuster imaginable, with giant monsters, disintegrator guns, the police and the army. And, once again, everyone dies. Not just the characters already mentioned in the story - no, this time, it’s everyone. In the world. I thought at first this must have been a spin-off from a book we were reading in class - Grezelda is quite a common name for a witch, it seems, though it’s usually spelt Griselda, or sometimes even Grizelda. I can find useful links on the internet which tell me where the name comes from and there definitely seem to be a hell of a lot of witches called it, but I was expecting to find a specific children’s book called “Griselda the Witch” - at the very least one written before 1979, which I might have copied on this very day. But no joy. So I’ve no idea whether I used the most cliched witch name of my own volition or because I was told to. Unusually for me, this story has a female protagonist. Someone might try to tell me she’s really an antagonist, but she isn’t - the story’s told from her point of view. The police and the army - and particularly that pesky general - are the antagonists. So not only does this feature a female protagonist, she’s also an anti-hero. All of which would prove I was some kind of child genius if the rest of the story weren’t so bloody stupid. A few other random things... Over two weeks have passed between this and my previous story. Mainly because of a half- term holiday, but partly because that’s the sort of pace we were supposed to work at. Writing a page or two once a week was probably the norm, and if I’d worked at that pace throughout my entire time at Fairburn School, I probably would have only filled two English books, maybe three at the most, instead of ten. During this missing fortnight I had a birthday, so this is the first piece I wrote as an eight year old. The passage of time did nothing for my spelling - here I write “with” instead of “witch” and “munites” instead of “minutes. It’s also done nothing for my plotting skills - if Grezelda could turn people into stone anyway, why didn’t she just do that straight away instead of going through all this monster malarkey? The reason is threefold: 1. Without the monster, there would be no story 2. Grezelda doesn’t originally want to kill everyone - she makes the monster for fun, and only turns everyone to stone in anger at the death of her creation 3. I made it up as I went along My favourite bit is the unintentional friendly fire incident: “One of them got killed when the army came!” Was I trying to make a joke about military incompetence? Or was I trying to say the army came just after the policeman had been killed? In which case it’s my own competence as a writer I should be questioning. Still, at least the army win in the end. For a few minutes before they all get turned to stone.
Grezelda the Witch
TERM 1 Sept-Dec 1979
TOPIC 1 Sept-Dec 1979
HISTORY 1 Sept 1979 - Oct 1981
SCIENCE 1 Sept 1979 - Mar 1980
FAIRBURN The place where I wrote all this rubbish
WAEN SHEPHERD Who was this strange little boy?
GEOGRAPHY 1 Sept 1979 - Feb 1981
Clarke Hall Old Houses Fairburn v Burton Salmon The Forgotten World String Orchestra Sheet Lightning Grezelda the Witch Bonfire Night Metropolitan Police Christmas 1979 Great Space Battles Luddenden The Hat’s Adventure Sleeping Beauty What I Do On Monday Waen Shepherd 2 Waen Shepherd in: Green Squids Ward’s 7: Move of the Galaxy Ward’s 7: Alpha Centauri Ward’s 7: Escape to Mother Ship Ward’s 7: Death Planet Blake’s 7 Ward’s 7: The Hunt Ward’s 7: Rescue The Flame in the Desert The Fugitive British Skiing Events Fiends of the Eastern Front Apeth (from Outer Space!) Tedosaurus (from Prehistoric Time!) A Walk in Our Village The Mountain Called Tyrannosaurus Rex Florence Nightingale War of the Worlds The Micronauts in: Supersilver
Christmas 1979 Can Waen last the night without opening his presents?
Sheet Lightning Waen and his Gran shelter from the sheet- shaped storm
Zebbedy Zeb, Zebbedy Zonster The second piece of fiction in my first English book is probably one of those occasions when we were told as a class to sit down and write a story about Halloween. The date is incorrectly given as Tuesday 31st October , which didn’t happen in 1979 - it’s either Tuesday 30th or Wednesday 31st - but the witchy subject matter makes me think we’d been talking about Halloween in class and then told to write about it. That sort of thing did happen. Given the opportunity to write a horror story, I obviously grabbed it with both hands. Witches weren’t really my kind of thing, but by the end of the first page, it’s turned into the most exciting action-adventure blockbuster imaginable, with giant monsters, disintegrator guns, the police and the army. And, once again, everyone dies. Not just the characters already mentioned in the story - no, this time, it’s everyone. In the world. I thought at first this must have been a spin-off from a book we were reading in class - Grezelda is quite a common name for a witch, it seems, though it’s usually spelt Griselda, or sometimes even Grizelda. I can find useful links on the internet which tell me where the name comes from and there definitely seem to be a hell of a lot of witches called it, but I was expecting to find a specific children’s book called “Griselda the Witch” - at the very least one written before 1979, which I might have copied on this very day. But no joy. So I’ve no idea whether I used the most cliched witch name of my own volition or because I was told to. Unusually for me, this story has a female protagonist. Someone might try to tell me she’s really an antagonist, but she isn’t - the story’s told from her point of view. The police and the army - and particularly that pesky general - are the antagonists. So not only does this feature a female protagonist, she’s also an anti- hero. All of which would prove I was some kind of child genius if the rest of the story weren’t so bloody stupid. A few other random things... Over two weeks have passed between this and my previous story. Mainly because of a half-term holiday, but partly because that’s the sort of pace we were supposed to work at. Writing a page or two once a week was probably the norm, and if I’d worked at that pace throughout my entire time at Fairburn School, I probably would have only filled two English books, maybe three at the most, instead of ten. During this missing fortnight I had a birthday, so this is the first piece I wrote as an eight year old. The passage of time did nothing for my spelling - here I write “with” instead of “witch” and “munites” instead of “minutes. It’s also done nothing for my plotting skills - if Grezelda could turn people into stone anyway, why didn’t she just do that straight away instead of going through all this monster malarkey? The reason is threefold: 1. Without the monster, there would be no story 2. Grezelda doesn’t originally want to kill everyone - she makes the monster for fun, and only turns everyone to stone in anger at the death of her creation 3. I made it up as I went along My favourite bit is the unintentional friendly fire incident: “One of them got killed when the army came!” Was I trying to make a joke about military incompetence? Or was I trying to say the army came just after the policeman had been killed? In which case it’s my own competence as a writer I should be questioning. Still, at least the army win in the end. For a few minutes before they all get turned to stone.
Grezelda the Witch
TERM 1 Sept-Dec 1979
TOPIC 1 Sept-Dec 1979
HISTORY 1 Sept 1979 - Oct 1981
SCIENCE 1 Sept 1979 - Mar 1980
FAIRBURN The place where I wrote all this rubbish
WAEN SHEPHERD Who was this strange little boy?
GEOGRAPHY 1 Sept 1979 - Feb 1981
Christmas 1979 Can Waen last the night without opening his presents?
Sheet Lightning Waen and his Gran shelter from the sheet- shaped storm